Category Archives: The STRONG Report
What do Military Wives do to deserve to get paid? If you are honestly married to your husband because you love him, and you are honestly a good, faithful wife, then you shouldn’t need to get paid for the honor of being the number one supporter of your soldier. There is a spouse that started a Facebook group about this, and people expecting to get paid just for being married is one of those things that gets me steamed.
Yes, the Military Wife life is hard, but what about the Firefighters wife? Cops Wife? EMT’s wife? Boarder Patrol’s wife? Ok, their husbands are coming home after their shift to possibly help with kids and the regular household junk like homework, housework, balancing the checkbook, and bills.. They don’t have to deal with everything for months at a time without their spouse being there, but they deal with sending their husband’s out to various degrees of danger every day. They don’t get R&R, and they don’t have all the resources that are available to military spouses. (Check out Military One Source, MWR, Family Life Counselors, Strong Bonds marriage retreats, CYS childcare during deployments, and the good things that have come out of our local Army Family Action Plans.) Their husbands don’t get any extra pay for going out into life threatening situations every day. Members of the military get “deployment pay” and even though it doesn’t always get paid on time, service members get paid to go to schools (TDY) for their specific jobs (MOS), most of the time.
Yes, we have to deal with “Military Intelligence”, (which is even more oxymoronic than “Jumbo Shrimp” more often than not) but why should you get a hand out from your government just because you think you have it harder than if you and your hubby went to work for Corporate America? Hmmm? Do you think that dealing with your husband’s boss and co-workers is any easier in the civilian world? If your husband is a manager, he might not have to go bail his worker out of jail, but he would be the one responsible for either covering the shift, or the one in trouble for not getting the shift covered. And do you realize that in this economy it is almost impossible to “fire” a soldier (unless he/she does something REALLY stupid) until his contract runs out. Some soldiers are even retained (Stop Loss) because they are just too valuable to the military. What other job offers you that kind of security?
And what about school? There are so many programs, especially for enlisted families, to help with both spouses and dependants (children) of military members get college degrees and certificates, it is overwhelming! The Army even helps your soldier go to college on their dime, if you are willing to do the paperwork, and get decent grades… It is like an Army scholarship, but different.
There are so many FREE programs that are offered to the military families. If you want to get something other than the love and respect of your husband and family, and the respect and admiration of so many other Americans, go to your post/base MWR office or to www.militaryonesource.com and find out what programs are offered near you.
If you want to get paid but don’t want to work for someone else, start a business from your home. So many spouses on post here at Ft. Wainwright have Pampered Chef, Avon, jewelry, candle, or other home-based businesses with web-based ordering, that we really need a directory of all these. Hmmm… Someone could publish one of those, and sell ads to make money, or they could have a web page that would list all these businesses in one space, and have people pay to be listed. Or you could give up the privilege of being a stay at home mom, and go get a job! That’s what most people that want to get paid do!
I am not going to apologize for my opinion about trying to get paid for doing nothing, or for thinking you deserve something for being in a certain demographic. I have been in a position where I could have gotten a government handout for just being me in the situation I put myself.
There are times when assistance is appropriate. If you are really in need, you don’t have a family or a church family that can help you get back up, if you don’t qualify for the emergency loans that the military offers, but you are trying to get back up out of a pit, and just cannot do it… YES! That is when you should get some help. But as hard as marriage can be, especially a military marriage, it doesn’t deserve a government stipend. If you looked at your situation, and took advantage of the programs around you, you would see that you are not doing anything that generations of women have been doing without the benefit of a paycheck.
This is totally my opinion as the proud daughter of a 30+ year Active Duty and Reserve Navy Veteran, the proud wife of an Active Duty Army NCO, AND a proud Homeschooling, stay at home Mom of a teenager. ( BTW- I don’t get paid for any of the above.)
The STRONG Report
12 June 2009
We are 155 days STRONG!
It has been awhile! I am so not good at writing on a regular basis, but I am challenging myself to start writing something every day. I have started a Word Press blog. ( Duh… you are reading it here!) I know I have had other blogs, and not been very successful, but this one is very cool. I am figuring out all the Facebook and Twitter stuff, too! If you are on ANY of these I am registered under my personal e-mail. I would love to add you as a friend, just let me know. My Status and Tweets are not particularly interesting, but you can ignore them if you want.
Well, Darren has been deployed since January. It was a cold winter here in Fairbanks, but Agnes and I made it. We experienced a lot of new things, mainly snow and winter stuff we didn’t have in SC or TX, and we are now enjoying the 20 plus hours of sunlight…
Unfortunately, I am enjoying almost all 20plus hours. I am normally an insomniac. I have tried every natural, herbal, OTC way to combat this problem. I don’t like the groggy feeling that the drugs give me, and the herbal and homeopathic remedies just don’t seem to last long enough. I have never been a light sleeper, but since the latest string of earthquakes, I have been waking up to every noise and slight shake from the settling house. It is getting old. I am hoping that it is just nerves and stress. I usually sleep better when Darren is home, so we will see if he is the remedy I need to get my sleep cycle back on track.
It won’t be long now. We have started getting our re-deployment information through the FRG (Family Readiness Group) and the post has started organizing re-deployment classes. I had some really good ones when Darren came back to Ft. Hood. (Man, I miss 1st Cav.! Col. Phelps was a GREAT Rear-D leader!) I am looking forward to seeing what Ft Wainwright has to offer. So far, I haven’t been impressed with the communications or the organization of most of the events I have attended. The re-deployment information is so important, especially to the spouses that have never been through a deployment before this one. I hope they do it right. I will let you know…
Agnes has been having a blast here in Alaska! We found a wonderful place for her to ride, she is writing the newsletter for the PYOC (Protestant Youth of the Chapel), has finished 7th grade, and is getting ready to volunteer at a food pantry. Her first week of Ranch Camp was canceled, but we have three more to go! She will be going on an overnight pac trip and learning to cook on an open fire during one camp. One camp is a complete WEEK of sleeping there, riding every day! And the last is another skills camp. We have been working as volunteer feeders at the ranch since March, and she has been going one extra time a week to learn how to be a NITWIT, our name for Not In Training to be a Wrangler In Training. She is a “barn girl” in almost every sense of the name, happy to be mucking stalls and talking to horses every chance she can get. We are even looking at an equestrian college! I just hope I can be as encouraging, supportive, and patient as my parents were when I was “following my dream!”
Anyway, Darren will be home soon… very soon… We will probably get to spend Thanksgiving and Christmas together again. Isn’t that a miracle! We won’t know when we will be able to get down to the lower 48 until Darren is actually back and at work again, but as soon as we know I will e-mail everyone. I would love to make the drive again, following a southern route and seeing the Grand Canyon, but that will have to wait for warmer weather and a long block leave. Parts of the ALCAN were scary enough in the summer. I don’t want to try it frozen over with a few feet of ice!
Well, that’s all for now! Time to try to get some sleep!
14For this cause I bow my knees unto the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, 15from whom the whole family in Heaven and earth is named, 16that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might by His Spirit in the inner man; 17that Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love, 18may be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth and length and depth and height, 19and to know the love of Christ, which surpasseth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fullness of God.